Bad punctuation ....!!!!

Bad punctuation pisses me off. Period. I hate it when people type like idiots while chatting or writing emails. I am old-fashioned in that way I guess, but I swear I coldly judge people who type things like -

"Heyaa... how are uuuuuuuuuuu?"

"Where have you been .........!!!"

That is a question, I have no clue what an exclamation mark is doing there. It's just so annoying to see people do that. You come to office, log into gtalk and you see an retard with a status-line with something similar. Pisses me off, sure as hell would want to kill someone at that point of time!

aaaaaaa ......!!!! - why not?

Of a late night flight, yesterday.

As I sat by the window waiting for the aircraft to steady itself to land on the narrow strip of tarmac illuminated by hundreds of powerful lights like a giant target contrasted against the sea of random orange specs in a night of encompassing darkness, I felt happy.

There is something very human about feeling dwarfed that makes each of smile and be happy. We feel it when we stand and stare into vastness of the ocean from a little sandy beach wondering how big the sky really is. And we feel it when we stand in the midst of mountains, ancient and silent, cold from millenniums of solitude and aloneness.

I think as little ants in the giant ant-farm that swarms around us, we get into the habit of making ourselves the centres of our universe. Life becomes all about getting to work on time, socializing, bitching, binging, starving, partying, crying… we live, we die. Till every now and then, something happens and makes you realize you are just another spec of sand waiting to be washed away.

Then you smile, as the enormity of the world and life itself dawns upon you. And in that moment of being humbled, you feel tall and strong. You feel like a giant who smiles benevolently on all that has come to pass. You close your eyes for a moment to take that feeling in.

Then you breathe.

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Two years ago, I remember writing a similar post before I left for my MBA. Having bummed around for two years I have managed to get the three most haloed letters in the desired choronological order on my CV, and in the process managed to get myself a job in what I am told is the leading media conglomerate in the country.

Hmm.

Last two weeks have been spent house-hunting in Mumbai, then jet-setting to Delhi and now wasting away silently on a borrowed desk in a forgotten corner. Work hasn't found me in the office, it's only a matter of time before it does and then innundates my life with its humdrum of presentations and meetings and awkward lunch hours. Before it does that, here are a few foot-notes I have gathered over the afore-mentioned two weeks.

Little nuggets of wisdom, snippets of life and a giant vacuole of a lonely space...

# Don't look for work. If it doesn't seek you out, then it's probably not important enough.

# All American Diner at the India Habitat Centre is cool place for a meal.

# Actor-Factor Theatre Company is over-rated. A good poster, robust hoarding and intellectual sounding brief can get people to pay Rs 300 for a show. Caution advised.

# You sometimes find friends in people you've let your eyes slip through for years.

# Mail Today is the most 'intelligently crafted' and cosmopolitan newspaper/tabloid I have seen in India.

# India TV aired a song called "Dhoni और Goni" to celebrate the phonetic similarity in the names of the Chennai IPL team-mates.

# The Great Khali says wrestling is not fixed. Liar.

# This is becoming a media analysis. Ugh!

# You know you've been labelled a adult when PAN number, tax returns, investment plans and insurance are not abstract concepts which your dad keeps himself busy with, and you have to figure them out.

# Sometimes talking to someone you miss can be an absolutely frustrating & draining exercise.

# Indifference hurts more than sarcasm.

Sometimes letting yourself drift with the flow can be a painfully exhausting and sapping endeavor, and the effort to dig your feet in and drop the anchor seems beyond your capacity. Sometimes I guess, it's just fair to leave random thoughts buzzing through your head, in bullet-points without sentences or paragraphs stiching some sense out of them.

It might even be considered therapeutic. Or well, maybe not... Hmm.

5 Easy Steps to become an Instant Politcal Dickhead

Stupid fascists are at it again. The face is different, a different name... the war-cry the same and the so is the idea of politics. Exclusionism is an easy ticket to fame in the diverse mosaic that is India.

1. Get alarmed at the cold-shoulder that the national media is giving you. Now-now dahlings, just because we don't have six-pack abs or a size-zero frame, doesn't mean we don't like page-3! Phoo!


2. Identify a dormant majority community. You can make a quick game out of this too. Language, region, religion, culture... so many possible ways to pick this community. Ooh-ooh, so much fun!


3. Identify the 'outsider'. Oh joy, more fun! Caution: The excess joy might cause you to orgasm.


4. Shave those pubes (long-public rallies in the summer can leave you with itchy, sweaty patches... hardly unbecoming of a 'public-hero'.


5. Launch into a tirade of how the majority have been marginalised by the 'outsiders'. Use words like 'direct action', 'Jai *insert name*' and phrases which basically make a mockery of the constutution and the democracy of the country. When you pair these with thick-rimmed glasses (last seen on Preity Zinta) - you are bound to be taken seriously as a desperately stupid and parochial politician, which is more or less the effect you are gunning for anyways.

Now sit back and enjoy a pubes-free orgasm as the national media scurries to give you a prime-time spot and then roundly condemns you. You can of course use this 'negative mileage' to portray yourself as a victim of a national conspiracy to "marginalise the interest of the chosen-community".

This is of course if you don't orgasm yourself to exhaustion before that.