Venting Macha takes on Bollywood!

Ok, I got too much time on my hands and damn it my photoshop skills suck.  But you got to admit, these films would have been much more tolerable if only they had cast the Venting Macha!

Decide for yourself!

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi: 

They said the film is about the 'comman' man, the 'loser'. Well if that is so, Venting Macha says there is no bigger loser than him around. I know Shah Rukh Khan gives tough competition to most people but when compared to the Macha, SRK is just not loserish enough. Do I see you shaking your head in a condescending smirk? Can't believe that there can be a bigger loser than SRK? 

Ya I know the guy brought monopoly rights on the phrase 'Iam the best', put money in making films like 'One 2 ka 4' and 'Phir Bhi Dil hai Hindustani' and shamelessly admitted [repeatedly] on national television to being best-friends with Karan Johar & Farah Khan [eeks].

But consider this -

# The Venting Macha spent a whole afternoon looking through his old pics to find suitable ones for the purpose of this post.

# Learnt Photoshop.

# Googled SRK. 

# Morphed pics! And finally uploaded it on the page.

There now do you believe me? Hah! Thought so too. Next up, is the film that has bulldozed into record books by simply making people 'forget' what a shit-fest it actually is. Yes, I am talking about that spicier than a South-Indian rasam, cooked by Mrs Murugadoss, revenge-adventure flick that has brought the Indian tatoo industry into the mainstream and all of course in a matter of 15 minutes. Lest of course you 'forget'...*poof* Where was I? What was I talking about? [Checks tatoo on chest which says 'Aamir Khan is a sellout bastard' and remembers again].  

Driven by the marketing acumen of the obscene ball of muscles now known as Aamir Khan, it has been laying seige to our sensibilities courtesy plugged publicity in almost all mainstream Indian newspapers, news channels and of course websites.  

The film is about... who-the-fuck-cares what's it about! Have you seen Aamir's body? Have you seen his 8-packs? Have you seen that killer intimidating look? Oh boy, he gives me the chills! I wouldn't want to cross him the wrong way in a dark alley!

Hmm. So, you think that's scary? Take a look at this and tell me frankly who would you rather piss off.

On the left, Aamir Khan strikes a sullen pose because he's been punished to sit in the corner for having ears as large as angola rabbits! However, on the right is Venting Macha showing you what it really means to look a pissed-off bad ass in the eye. Feel tingly shivers running down your spine, uneasy restlessness in your heart... well then... beat it punk, or I'll get up from the chair and scream in a ridiculously hilarious fashion.

Oh sorry, that last bit was Aamir again from Ghajini. Anyways point well made.

Finally coming to the one man who many consider to be 'The Man' as he simply defies logic and keeps giving hits inspite of having stupid-sounding titles for his films, inane plots, stupid directors, insipid music and a heroine who looks like a million bucks but can't speak Hindi to save her life! Akshay Kumar is next. Singh is 'Kinng' it seems, and he can't spell english correctly either.

This one was the most easy, really! A clean-shaven sardar? Sheesh! The Venting Macha has been there and done that when he was all but 2 years old! Don't believe it? See for yourself...

Check me out doing my version of fist-in-air, 'Singh is Kinng' dance circa 1986. So there. The scoreline reads... Venting Macha 3 - 0 Bollywood!  I rule!