Yesterday at dinner, my parents were as usual cribbing about the amount of food I eat. Ma kept complaining about how fat I had become and how my brother-in-law had lost so much weight in the last few months. Why can't you make an effort, she pleaded even as I continued to keep stuffing my mouth. I was determined to eat my hearty meal and ignore the temptation to engage my parents in debate. I mean after all they have to live with the sight of an obese, lazy lump living in their house. But then my father, who henceforth shall be known as The Man, fired the first salvo.
The Man: Phoo, he's trying too hard if only he quit non-veg food he'd lose half his weight instantly.
At this point I must mention that The Man is a strict vegetarian. Of course as a self-respecting meat-eater I felt offended. I mean its meat! Its beautiful... it *sniff* makes me weep with joy sometimes in the middle of the night. I had to retort.
Venting-Macha: You mean to say vegetarians are not fat? Have ever seen those Marwari/Gujarati aunties?
The Man: Compare the comparables. They have a sedentary lifestyle. Amongst active people with similar lifestyles non-vegetarians seem to be fatter.
VM: [annoyed] How can you just randomly make statements like that? There is no study to conclusively prove all that. There is no data. What is the basis of such blanket statements?
The Man: The basis is my experience and observation.
VM: [even more annoyed] What! See it matters how a dish is cooked. A fried potato is probably just as harmful as fired chicken. Lean meat isn't fattening. It's the preparation that matters.
The Man: No! Meat is more fattening.
VM: But... but most seafood doesn't have fat!
The Man: [without blinking an eye] Which is why many coastal people don't consider fish and seafood to be non-veg!
VM: [stunned into silence]
I quickly finished my dinner and beat a hasty retreat. No, I hadn't satiated my hunger. I left for a night-out soon after that and promptly dug into a biriyani dinner at a dhaba.
The Man rocks!
5 comments:
@Macha
Worry not! I will come to your rescue. just introduce me to The Man. I cna prove your case of Fat Vegetarians. Call me, Brother.
Just one piece of evidence for you and The Man will be floored:
Vidyashankar Srinivasan.
I rest my case, and yours.
@Gomes/Candy Foxx:
You are not fat. You are not fat. Repeat after me... You are not fat.
And stay away from that muffin! :D
@Chuck:
Vidya is definitely a 'sizeable' advantage for my argument but remember you cannot floor The Man! :D
The Man will promptly blame it on vapid excesses of today's confused youth and proceed to lecture me on how I should spend less time on the computer, sleep early, etc.
Oh the horror, the horror!
The Macha is now embeea fatcat. With a paunch. :P
@sayan:
Indeed he is :P
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